Hello Everyone! I'm hoping this might be an efficient way to share information with anyone who might be interested in my condition - save multiple calls, e-mails, repeating stories, etc. - and when I see you we can talk about 'normal stuff', maybe even about you and your families :)
I have received many calls, cards, etc - I very much appreciate your prayers, love and concern!! This apparently is going to be a rather long haul and it's reassuring knowing there are so many who care!!! Be careful, though, with what you offer - for, before this is over, I may need to take you up on some of it!!
Seriously, we are doing Great! Although this diagnosis was quite a shock, it required quick response, not much time for pity parties, although most of you know I'm not into that anyway!
Got the news, found out what we needed to do, started doing it, and, well, so far it's not too bad.
As I'm just now starting the posts, I'll attempt to condense the last month and a half to catch you up and then from here on, just pop on with updates - I have no experience with blogging, so this is experimental... and I do tend to be a little wordy - so I don't know how condensed this'll be...
OK, returned from a lovely trip to the Dominican Republic the end of May - routine mammogram Thursday June 4. Call from physician late Friday afternoon June 5 with need to see a breast surgeon due to changes noted, specifically calcification. St. Louis Tuesday June 9, told by physician assistant that I'd need a biopsy, which of course they couldn't do that day, and that would determine course of treatment - whether surgery then chemo or chemo then surgery. She never actually said the C-word, but why else would one need chemo?
After sitting in waiting rooms 4 different times, ultra sound, another mammogram, met with another PA who scheduled the biopsy for an entire week later, I left. Of course the entire time, I remained composed, asked appropriate questions, carried on conversations politely with others in the waiting rooms, etc. - but halfway to the car, started to cry - not for myself - but was worried about how all of this would impact Glen & the kids, and then everyone else; family and friends. But in my usual fashion, by the time I got to the car, I was not crying, but trying to decide how & when to tell Glen. As he had already tried to call me a couple times, I just called him then. He immediately was telling me how sorry he was for me that I had to go through all this, and I was not at all thinking about that, but worrying more about him - guess that's why we work so well, we really do care more about each other completely and have more concern for the other than we do ourselves. We're lucky!
Anyway (told you I was wordy) also called my friend Donna on the way home from St. Louis - she too, is a nurse (we went to nursing school together), has had breast cancer, treatment, surgery, - the whole sh'bang, and thankfully, she was available!! Talking with her was very comforting - she, from a practical perspective could give me tips, advice, reassurance - I was able to actually start planning already and preparing for what was about to begin. Her experiences also made it much easier for me to 'break it' to Matthew - Donna also has a son who was a little guy when she was diagnosed.
The unknown now was the worst - my grandma's 100th birthday was in a couple weeks, my brother and family were coming to our house for a week, our 2 week beach vacation was in a month - I didn't know if I'd be in the hospital having surgery - if I'd be able to any of the above - so, not wanting to wait another week, made more calls the following day and was able to get into a surgeon in Cape that same week. Friday June 12 saw surgeon, he did biopsy in his office. He, before the biopsy, told me we were dealing with cancer, that I'd have chemo for probably 6 months then surgery, then radiation, then more surgery. That this was going to be our life for the next year. Monday June 15 met oncologist. Tuesday June 16 surgery for port placement. Wed. June 17 to St. Louis wig shopping with entire family, which was fun - really, we had fun with it! then went to lunch and to the Magic House! Thursday June 18 PET scan. More waiting - even though it was only a day, very scary waiting to hear if the cancer had already spread. Friday June 19 good results from PET scan and started chemo.
Had what I would consider minimal side effects with first round. Went to the lake that Sunday for Father's day. Was tired and a little loopy Monday and Tuesday - not sure how much from chemo and how much from anti-nausea meds, then after that fairly normal. We had my g'mas birthday parties the next week, my brothers were here for a week, I had another round of chemo then left for nearly two weeks (glorious, relaxing weeks) at the beach with my beautiful family.
And now, we're caught up.
I'll have my third treatment this Friday, they're every three weeks. After the fourth, I'll start getting another type of chemo and it will be weekly (yuk) for 12 weeks (yuk) and then I'll have surgery - guessing the first of Dec? Then radiation, maybe for 6 weeks daily mon thru fri (yuk) and then more surgery. So, it could be a year or more before things are back to normal.
I had hoped to keep this from my Grandma, but as the treatment becomes more frequent - I may not be able to keep it from her. Thus far, it seems, that how I present, has much impact on the recipients reaction to the news. And as most of you know, I'm optimistic to the nth degree and as I already mentioned not into pity parties. So this isn't any different.
I actually feel very blessed in so many ways...(wordy, I know) for starters, * I have all of you who are concerned about us. * I have the most wonderful husband imaginable - most of you, I know would agree. * My children are healthy - there are so many people who's children suffer from illness -( I would rather do this three times over than to see any of my children sick.) * We have health insurance. *My boss isn't nagging me about the hours I may miss (tee hee). *I have dedicated employees that 'handle' everything in my absence. * We're able to pay the bills (so far). *We have parents who would do anything for us.
My list really could go on and on,... but importantly, I have faith in God, which is probably why optimism comes so natural - it's really just faith!
Love you all!
